Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
