You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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