I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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