Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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