Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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