As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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