Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
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