Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
