so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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