do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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