your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
