Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
