and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
