Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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