It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
