You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
