i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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