I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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