No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
