I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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