All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
