i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
