I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
