You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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