You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
