I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
