I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
