You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
