Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
