My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
