how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
