You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
