hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
