so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Randomize
