why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
there is puke in my bra ... again
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