Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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