so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Randomize
