I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
