i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
