I wish I could punch you in the face.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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