i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
