oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
farters have to be the big spoon...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
