Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
