Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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