he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
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