omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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