careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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