so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
