I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
