I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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